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4 Signs Your Spouse is Having an Affair

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No one enters a monogamous, devoted marriage with the idea of being betrayed and having their lives torn apart by the person they love and trust most in the world. But according to the American Psychological Association, infidelity is the primary cause of up to 40% of divorces. There are almost always other existing problems that precede an affair, but once that line is crossed most marriages have a hard time recovering. And for many couples, having an affair on either side is the final nail in the coffin. The hardest sting occurs when the loyal spouse is completely blindsided by the betrayal. Fortunately, there are some obvious signs that can help you catch a cheating partner.

Enhanced, Guarded, or Secretive Tech Habits

Most Americans have access to multiple types of tech devices such as smartphones, tablets, and laptops nowadays. They’re required for education, work, socialization, and relaxation. But they’re especially important due to the current health situation. Of course, the extra tech usage makes it a lot easier to cheat on a spouse and also catch a cheating partner. According to a study by YouGov Omnibus, 7% of all adults on dating apps joined to cheat on their partner, and 17% of all adults on dating sites in 2019 were there to cheat. That number rose through the pandemic. So pay close attention to your honey’s tech habits.

Unusual or Unexplained Expenses

Most couples share household expenses or at least have some idea of their regular accumulative weekly or monthly expenditures. So covering the financial tracks of an affair can be challenging. And don’t kid yourself, the cost of cheating can add up fast. According to one study, the average six-month affair can cost over $2,660 due to dates, dinners, gifts, hotel rooms, and other incidentals. If you notice unusual or unexplained expenses, it could be a sign your partner is having an affair.

Emotional and/or Sexual Intimacy Changes in the Relationship

The most intense part of any romantic relationship, known as the “honeymoon stage”, can last anywhere between a few months and a few years. After that, however, most committed relationships tend to stabilize and form stronger emotional bonds that create a more secure and balanced partnership. If your partner has suddenly pulled away and emotional intimacy has suffered or even stopped altogether, that can be a sign that they’re getting their needs met elsewhere. Significant or sudden sexual changes are good indicators as well. Most people assume lack of sex is an obvious sign of infidelity. But guilt can also result in the disloyal spouse also wanting more sex at home to cover their tracks.

Sudden Moods, Avoidance, or Deflection When Confronted about Relationship Problems

It always takes two to make or break a relationship, but infidelity is a solo decision and often one that leads to a one-way ticket straight out of the marriage. Chances are your partner’s smart enough to know that last bit, so they’ll go out of their way to hide the affair. That stress builds up though, and they’ll be more likely to deflect, attack, or avoid accusations or discussions of relationship problems. Give us a call when you’ve had enough and are ready once and for all to catch a cheating partner.

Infidelity and Why Spouses Cheat

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Discovering your spouse has been unfaithful can be one of the most painful, and in some cases unbearable, moments in life. If you’re facing that, know you’re far from alone. According to national statistics, approximately 20% of men and 13% of women cheat on their spouses, and that number increases with age. But those statistics are based on admittance, and the numbers can actually be closer to the 70% mark. Regardless, the fact that you’ve been living and sharing intimacy with a cheating spouse is never a pleasant discovery for a loyal partner. But knowing the pain and devastation that type of betrayal can cause, why do spouses cheat?

Low Self-Esteem

Healthy adults don’t need constant validation to feel their own worth, but everyone feels depressed or at least inadequate from time-to-time. Those who don’t receive the validation they need from their spouses during those times often look for it elsewhere, and it can lead to infidelity when the attraction and appreciation are mutual. While that ego boost may feel good at the moment, it’s usually short-lived. That can create a cycle of searching for that boost, cheating, and crashing before coming clean or being caught by your actual partner.

Emotional Neglect

Women are more likely than men to claim emotional neglect as a reason for infidelity, but it can be a serious issue for either gender. Your spouse is expected to provide the emotional validation you need. But when that is gone in a marriage, one or both partners can search for it elsewhere. Emotional connection outside the marriage can evolve into an emotional affair. And that can lead to sexual infidelity.

Boredom or Revenge

Boredom often occurs in even strong marriages, but when it’s chronic or consistent, it can be partnered with the need or desire to seek revenge on the other spouse for their perceived disinterest. That revenge then snowballs into a sexual affair. When the infidelity is just due to boredom, it can also be due to sensation-seeking, a psychological need to feel new or intense feelings to combat the loneliness and regain some personal worth–regardless of the consequences.

Infidelity Is a Family Affair

Children have several influences in their lives, but their parents always lead the pack. When it comes to infidelity, however, children have strong views of the subject through all phases of life. And yet, according to studies, adults who had at least one cheating parent are at least twice as likely to cheat on their spouse or committed partner at some point. While this obviously doesn’t always occur, it is important to know your partner’s family history to realize that your relationship risk factors could be affected.

Sexual Dissatisfaction

Sexual dissatisfaction is probably the most common reason for infidelity, regardless of gender, age, or length of marital time. That can include lack of sexual attention in the marriage, differences in sexual needs, desire for extra or multiple partners, falling out of love with your current partner, lack of physical attraction/validation, and overlapping emotional disconnection. If you’re concerned about a cheating spouse or have serious suspicions that you can’t prove, give us a call. The right Detroit private investigator will find the answers you need to move forward with your life.