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4 Signs Your Spouse is Having an Affair

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No one enters a monogamous, devoted marriage with the idea of being betrayed and having their lives torn apart by the person they love and trust most in the world. But according to the American Psychological Association, infidelity is the primary cause of up to 40% of divorces. There are almost always other existing problems that precede an affair, but once that line is crossed most marriages have a hard time recovering. And for many couples, having an affair on either side is the final nail in the coffin. The hardest sting occurs when the loyal spouse is completely blindsided by the betrayal. Fortunately, there are some obvious signs that can help you catch a cheating partner.

Enhanced, Guarded, or Secretive Tech Habits

Most Americans have access to multiple types of tech devices such as smartphones, tablets, and laptops nowadays. They’re required for education, work, socialization, and relaxation. But they’re especially important due to the current health situation. Of course, the extra tech usage makes it a lot easier to cheat on a spouse and also catch a cheating partner. According to a study by YouGov Omnibus, 7% of all adults on dating apps joined to cheat on their partner, and 17% of all adults on dating sites in 2019 were there to cheat. That number rose through the pandemic. So pay close attention to your honey’s tech habits.

Unusual or Unexplained Expenses

Most couples share household expenses or at least have some idea of their regular accumulative weekly or monthly expenditures. So covering the financial tracks of an affair can be challenging. And don’t kid yourself, the cost of cheating can add up fast. According to one study, the average six-month affair can cost over $2,660 due to dates, dinners, gifts, hotel rooms, and other incidentals. If you notice unusual or unexplained expenses, it could be a sign your partner is having an affair.

Emotional and/or Sexual Intimacy Changes in the Relationship

The most intense part of any romantic relationship, known as the “honeymoon stage”, can last anywhere between a few months and a few years. After that, however, most committed relationships tend to stabilize and form stronger emotional bonds that create a more secure and balanced partnership. If your partner has suddenly pulled away and emotional intimacy has suffered or even stopped altogether, that can be a sign that they’re getting their needs met elsewhere. Significant or sudden sexual changes are good indicators as well. Most people assume lack of sex is an obvious sign of infidelity. But guilt can also result in the disloyal spouse also wanting more sex at home to cover their tracks.

Sudden Moods, Avoidance, or Deflection When Confronted about Relationship Problems

It always takes two to make or break a relationship, but infidelity is a solo decision and often one that leads to a one-way ticket straight out of the marriage. Chances are your partner’s smart enough to know that last bit, so they’ll go out of their way to hide the affair. That stress builds up though, and they’ll be more likely to deflect, attack, or avoid accusations or discussions of relationship problems. Give us a call when you’ve had enough and are ready once and for all to catch a cheating partner.

Infidelity and Why Spouses Cheat

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Discovering your spouse has been unfaithful can be one of the most painful, and in some cases unbearable, moments in life. If you’re facing that, know you’re far from alone. According to national statistics, approximately 20% of men and 13% of women cheat on their spouses, and that number increases with age. But those statistics are based on admittance, and the numbers can actually be closer to the 70% mark. Regardless, the fact that you’ve been living and sharing intimacy with a cheating spouse is never a pleasant discovery for a loyal partner. But knowing the pain and devastation that type of betrayal can cause, why do spouses cheat?

Low Self-Esteem

Healthy adults don’t need constant validation to feel their own worth, but everyone feels depressed or at least inadequate from time-to-time. Those who don’t receive the validation they need from their spouses during those times often look for it elsewhere, and it can lead to infidelity when the attraction and appreciation are mutual. While that ego boost may feel good at the moment, it’s usually short-lived. That can create a cycle of searching for that boost, cheating, and crashing before coming clean or being caught by your actual partner.

Emotional Neglect

Women are more likely than men to claim emotional neglect as a reason for infidelity, but it can be a serious issue for either gender. Your spouse is expected to provide the emotional validation you need. But when that is gone in a marriage, one or both partners can search for it elsewhere. Emotional connection outside the marriage can evolve into an emotional affair. And that can lead to sexual infidelity.

Boredom or Revenge

Boredom often occurs in even strong marriages, but when it’s chronic or consistent, it can be partnered with the need or desire to seek revenge on the other spouse for their perceived disinterest. That revenge then snowballs into a sexual affair. When the infidelity is just due to boredom, it can also be due to sensation-seeking, a psychological need to feel new or intense feelings to combat the loneliness and regain some personal worth–regardless of the consequences.

Infidelity Is a Family Affair

Children have several influences in their lives, but their parents always lead the pack. When it comes to infidelity, however, children have strong views of the subject through all phases of life. And yet, according to studies, adults who had at least one cheating parent are at least twice as likely to cheat on their spouse or committed partner at some point. While this obviously doesn’t always occur, it is important to know your partner’s family history to realize that your relationship risk factors could be affected.

Sexual Dissatisfaction

Sexual dissatisfaction is probably the most common reason for infidelity, regardless of gender, age, or length of marital time. That can include lack of sexual attention in the marriage, differences in sexual needs, desire for extra or multiple partners, falling out of love with your current partner, lack of physical attraction/validation, and overlapping emotional disconnection. If you’re concerned about a cheating spouse or have serious suspicions that you can’t prove, give us a call. The right Detroit private investigator will find the answers you need to move forward with your life.

3 Ways to Catch a Cheating Spouse

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Maintaining a positive and productive marriage can be challenging. But when signs suggest you’re living with a cheating spouse, the institution can become unbearable. A recent study has discovered that U.S. divorce rates have fallen to record lows of less than 15 divorces in every 1,000 marriages. That’s great for the nation overall, but adultery is still one of the top reasons for divorce. Fortunately, there are some pretty solid ways to catch a cheating spouse.

Go Into Sleuth Mode at Home

A cheating spouse will likely be very careful to avoid being caught, but they’re still human. Most cheaters will get careless enough at some point to leave traces of evidence behind. And that can be enough to give you the answers you need if you know what and where to look for it. Start in the closet, but don’t focus on the obvious. Go through the back and check pants, suit jackets, and bag pockets. Even look through shoes for odd items like extra condoms, receipts, business cards, phone numbers, and other unusual items that can confirm your suspicions.

Then carry on to the garage. As long as you’re legally married and on the car lease, you’ll be able to legally access any existing GPS in the vehicle. Check the patterns, especially stops made right before coming home, to see if your spouse was in fact at the drugstore or if they stopped at that cute coworker’s apartment instead. You can even plant a small bugging device under the driver’s seat to hear phone calls or other private conversations. But be forewarned, that is just for your personal knowledge and it can’t be legally used in court.

Dive Into the Devices

Smartphones have become a basic requirement in American culture, and the US ranks third globally with over 300 million cell phones currently in use. With the current employment challenges, more and more adults are also spending their days and nights wrapped up in their tablets and laptops. But it’s not just work that draws people into their devices. COVID has led to an uptick in online connections, liaisons, and affairs. And according to YouGov, 17% of adults who currently use dating apps admit to using them to cheat on their current partners.

The good news is that your spouse can’t be on their devices 24/7. The bad news is that if they’re locked or history is scoured on a regular basis, chances are they’re intentionally attempting to cover their tracks. If you’re concerned, check the devices. Be aware that you won’t be able to use the information in court if you find it without their permission. But you will have the answers you need and deserve.

Call In the Pros

Infidelity is responsible for up to 40% of divorces. And while 70% or more couples do survive the offense, most of those marriages end up empty and unhappy. You have every right to know the truth, but finding it out on your own can be emotionally exhausting, lead to extreme mental anguish, and in some cases even be dangerous. Why not avoid the trouble altogether and call in the pros? Professional Michigan spousal surveillance can get the answers you need so you can focus on a healthier and happier future.

Cyber Affairs Increase During COVID Quarantine

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What some couples originally considered harmless flirting has evolved into full-on cyber affairs during the quarantine period since Covid struck. The first confirmed case of Covid19 hit the US on January 19, 2020. And since then, life has changed for most Americans and practically turned inside-out for many. While health, security, and financial concerns are all points of serious concern, marital relationships also land high on the list. Regardless of how, why, or when an affair occurs, the act can lead to feelings of ultimate betrayal that simply can’t be corrected. But why are these relationship changes so common and what can you do if you suspect you’re dealing with a cheating spouse at home?

So Many Americans Now Work from Home

As of June, around 40% of Americans were working at home due to the pandemic, and that number has likely increased quite a bit since new resurgences and lockdowns have come into play. That means adults are spending much more time on their tech devices than they were as early as the end of 2019. It’s far easier now to make excuses for that extra online time by claiming more Zoom meetings, client emails, and social media time are necessary… for work.

Socialization Is at an All-Time Low

Weddings, special events, parties and ceremonies, even hanging out with friends have all been limited throughout 2020. Indoor gatherings are permitted in most states, but usually in maximum groups of 10 and only then if everyone wears a mask and stands at least 6 feet away from each other. At some point, most people want and need to talk to someone besides those in their household, especially if and when tensions there are high. Connecting with someone else online in a similar situation can easily lead to more than just venting.

Spousal Distancing is Trending

Chances are, when you promised to take your partner until death, you didn’t mean locked in your house together for 24-hours daily for months at a time due to a global pandemic. Few people outside of dystopian writers or science fiction junkies would spend more than a few minutes lost in those thoughts prior to 2020. Marital breakdowns due to ongoing microaggressions are all-too-common after years or building a life together. But quarantine periods add serious fuel to those fires and tend to fast-forward spousal distancing. If you or your spouse are refusing or blocking intimacy or sexual attention during this time, they may attempt to find it elsewhere.

A Cheating Spouse May Consider Their Behavior to Be Self-Care

Infidelity is not just physical. In fact, digital connections may actually be as damaging, if not more so than physical affairs because they often start off and continue as an emotional connection and affair. Of course, a cheating spouse may claim a totally different viewpoint–at least to try to stay out of trouble. According to a national report by AshleyMadison, over 50% of married couples are spending more time together than they ever have while 75% of couples’ sexual patterns are worse than before the pandemic hit. The cheating website has received an uptick in membership with 30% of women opting for online affairs compared to 15% of men.

Most of those users have no real plans to leave their marriage but consider their behavior to be “self-care”. You don’t have to agree with that and you definitely don’t have to live with that decision either. But you do have a right to know what your spouse is really up to in the other room. When you’re ready for answers, Michigan spousal surveillance can help you uncover the truth.

Best Private Investigator Tips for Catching a Cheater

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While there are several types of relationships, no one falls in love and enters a mutually exclusive lifelong committed relationship with the idea of cheating down the road. But adultery is still a major reason for divorce. In most states, it’s barely a legal excuse, often resulting in a misdemeanor or minor fine at best–and that’s if it’s even pursued by the victim. Michigan’s a bit different. While it is a no-fault divorce state, adultery has been listed as a statewide crime since 1931 and it still can be charged as a felony today. Of course, the betrayed spouse rarely follows up on it to that degree. In most cases, the partner who discovers the infidelity simply wants out of the marriage or relationship but needs the proof to do so. Fortunately, a Michigan private investigator can help you catch a cheating spouse.

Dive
Into Tech Traces

According
to national research, approximately 92% of adult mobile users connect to the internet daily
and over 30% of those with mobile devices are constantly connected. Online
connections are some of the most damaging extramarital relationships because
once a partner connects emotionally to someone else, they’ve usually basically
checked out of the marriage. There are often telltale signs of online
infidelity, including spending extra time on their devices, and suddenly hiding
or locking their phone. Even if they’ve covered their tracks, technology leaves
trails. So texts, phone records, and email can be reclaimed and collected as
personal or legal evidence if you catch it in time.

Journal
Your Findings

Cheating
spouses can be tricky and attempt to keep things offline, but their behavior
can still change in minor but consistent ways. Keep a journal or written record
of notable changes to see if a pattern builds. Write down when business trips
become more frequent or how many extra nights a week your spouse is working
later than usual. Pay more attention to bank records and jot down details
regarding spikes in monetary withdrawals. And pay closer attention to how often
they offer to leave the house. Write down the times, days, and length of time
they’re gone. Once caught, cheaters often try to lie or confuse their way out
of trouble so those records can help keep you focused on the facts. 

Keep
It Legal

Most states have serious privacy laws in place, and even those
in the gray areas can be argued in favor of their client by good legal
representation. This covers more than just sneaking a peek into your spouse’s
text messages. Bugging their car or office, hacking into social media accounts,
and making hard copies of their emails may get you physical proof of the
affair, but it may also have you facing litigation charges down the road. Michigan
spousal surveillance can be done confidentially, correctly and legally by
the right professional Michigan private investigator. So there’s really no need
to increase your stress levels and make unnecessary mistakes by doing it all on
your own. 

Prepare
for the Unexpected

The goal of a private investigator is to discover and deliver the truth to their client, regardless of what that proof discloses. There may be some uncomfortable discoveries along the way and you’ll need to prepare yourself for that reality. While you may think you’re on the road to catch a cheating spouse, you may instead or also uncover hidden money issues, family problems, addictions, or other illegal activities. Try to avoid assuming the worst without definitive proof. And if you can’t find it on your own, be sure to give us a call.