Dr. Diana Kirschner Tells Woman What to Do if They Suspect Their Man Is Wandering

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Aug 1, 2005
ABC News

What to Do If You Suspect a Cheating Spouse

Cheating is something many spouses are forced to confront. A 2004 ABC News American Sex Survey reported 16 percent of adults have cheated, with 21 percent of men reporting they have. Of the 11 percent of women who cheated, 33 percent said they did it to fill an emotional need.

Marital counselor Diana Kirschner offered these tips on how to approach a spouse suspected of cheating rather than going to the extreme of having them fired:

Watch Your Spouse’s Actions: Watch non-verbal actions. Some clues of lying include a failure to look you in the eye, nail biting and tremors in the leg. Turning you into the bad guy is also a clear sign.

Insert Yourself Into Your Spouse’s Life: Show up at the poker game, saying that you’re bringing a bag of chips. Make sure your spouse’s whereabouts match what he or she tells you.

Confront the Truth: Once you find out the truth, make a decision about whether to stay or go. In some cases, the right decision might be to give your spouse a second chance, but some people use infidelity as a way to force a relationship to end. If your spouse is not remorseful, you have to confront the truth and free yourself.