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In London a man admits to cheating on game show.

London, Jan 20:

Hoping to win 50,000 pounds on a TV game show, a husband owned up to cheating on his wife by having an affair and visiting a prostitute on his bucks night.

Stuart Brandwood admitted his scandalous antics as he was hooked to a lie detector on game show Nothing But the Truth, where contestants must answer 21 questions truthfully in front of their spouse to win the jackpot.

Apart from confessing an affair and bedding a prostitute, Brandwood said that his wife Amanda was not the best lover he’d had.

She has, however, forgiven him, and the couple, from Warrington in Cheshire, insist their relationship is ’stronger than ever’.

Before the program, Amanda submitted two suggestions for questions to ask her husband. One was: ‘Have you had an affair while you have been together with Amanda?”, the other: “Have you ever paid for sex abroad?”

When his wife asked him the questions, Stuart thought he had no option but to confess, rather than have her find out on the program.

“I went to Amsterdam on my stag night. My mates decided to get some money together for a prostitute in the red light district. I was very drunk,” the Scotsman quoted him, as saying.

Stuart said that the worst part was when he was asked whether his wife was the best lover he had had, to which he replied: No.

“That was unbelievably awkward and she really grilled me afterwards about who was the best lover,” he said.

“I had a life and a past before Amanda. She knew that because I was 30 when we met.

“But the question that has really kept us together was: ‘If you could have an affair and not get caught, would you do it?’ and I answered honestly, ‘No.’ So I think that proved how much I love her.”

Amanda said: “Because of everything he has confessed to, there have been a few tough times for us recently, but now he has a clean slate and I have forgiven him. I was more angry with him for not telling me about those things and keeping them a secret for years than what he actually did.

“We always had a strong relationship, and we must have done to have got through this. Amazingly, it has made us closer. We certainly talk a lot more now, she added.

Farizaa Sabreen

Infidelity is one of the most wrenching experiences a couple can tolerate. It can destroy families and above all it causes soreness not just to the betrayed, but usually to the cheater as well. Unfortunately the number of infidelity is rising in our society.

You can call it cheating, having an affair, adultery, infidelity, or breaking your monogamy promises, it affects relationships deeply. But it does not have to mean an end to the relationship.

Extra marital affairs are not always a sign of a troubled marriage. Some spouses yield to the temptation of an extramarital relationship as the result of experiencing unusual pressure over a normal lifestyle change, such as becoming a parent or a lonesome. For this, infidelity can occur in blissful marriages as well as unhappy ones.

Extramarital affairs, because of their secret nature, go unspoken. This silence has forced those involved to cope with incredibly complex problems with no support and advice.

Unlike TV’s portrayal of affairs, real “triangles” involve a great deal of repentance, confusion, anxiety, and soreness. In the end all members of the triangle are affected, for better or worse. Whether the marriage survives or the lovers form a new couple, everyone involved in the “triangle” will have been dramatically and permanently affected by the extramarital experience.

The fact that affairs are wrong, even considered to be a sin, has been ingrained into us through our social, cultural and religious upbringing. Yet despite the social and religious disapproval of them, they have been an ever-present phenomenon for us to deal with.

Every relationship hits a hurdle, or worse, a major crisis, that demands significant change if the relationship is to survive. This type of affair was not planned before hand because of a bad marriage. These affairs usually just happen.

Infidelity may be the worst of human experiences. It is usually a symptom of a weakness in a person or marriage, which can be corrected. Relationships are not built or destroyed by single events. In order for a marriage to have any hope of survival when an extramarital relationship threatens it, the involved spouse must recognize that the relationship is wrong and be willing to end it.

Who Has Affairs?

Unhappy working mothers and stay-at-home mothers often snag a much younger man. Stay-at-home moms have affairs with the neighbors. Stay-at-home wives get bored and join gyms and meet boyfriends while the husband is away working all the time, doing his own thing.

When married men are forced to live far from their families, they often start a new relationship.

We tend to think that only bad people have affairs or only people in bad relationships. But no one is protected from an affair.

Why it happens?

The reasons for infidelity are as many and as varied as the people involved. Professor S I Mullik, Psychiatrist of Lab Aid Hospital, has categorized the reasons for extramarital affairs as follows: Excitement, curiosity, falling in love, desire to escape or find relief from a painful relationship, boredom, desire to punish one’s partner, etc.

Women seem to be drawn into adulterous relationships initially through emotional attachments, while men are more likely attracted sexually. Interestingly, each gender tends to assume that the other is acting out of the same drive, as they are likely to themselves.

How it can be prevented?

Couples can’t avoid affairs by making threats as to what they would do if it happened. People don’t feel free to admit being attracted to someone else. If they don’t admit these attractions, then they won’t admit being tempted. If they don’t admit being tempted, then they certainly won’t admit it if and when they finally act on the attraction. The effect on the relationship is to cause it to be filled with jealousy and doubt.

If you suspect your spouse is cheating, Tanya Islam, a socio analyst has provides few tips to help spot it: any type of change in sexual relationship, missing money, change in schedule, request for separate vacations, increase in fights, etc.

So what do you do? Sneak a peek at his/her cell phone. Who has he been calling? Or, better still, try and catch him/her red handed. Surprise him/her by dropping in at his/her office when he says he’s working, or by coming home when s/he thinks you’re out of town.

There are many types of extra-marital relationships, and while all of them are terrible betrayals of the trust and love between the couple, it directly affects the chances for survival of the marriage.

Like other affairs, extra-marital affairs are loaded with romanticism, morality, mythology, and intense emotions. They’re not really about sex, but about pain and fear and the desire to feel alive. They’re also about betrayal. Such type of affairs need not necessarily wreck a marriage or result into divorce.

Before you can decide what to do with the affair in your life you need to know what it means and what are its types.

Is it just ‘Emotional outbreak affair’, or ‘Emotional-Sexual Affair’?

The faithful spouse has worked hard for the marriage; but no matter how hard they work, the unfaithful spouse is going to have an affair due to their own scarcities.

If you are the “other woman”, whom he’s stolen not only your heart but also your brain- you should know that majority of married men are not planning to leave their established lives to begin one with you. So, if you may feel that he’s your soul mate, think again. A real soul mate would not set you on the sidelines. He wouldn’t allow it, let alone entice it. Even if your married man decided to leave his wife and family for you, that doesn’t guarantee success.

If you are the “other” involved in an extramarital affair, considering getting involved in an affair or are in the process of ending an affair, this is a place for you to speak freely and honestly with others who experience the same highs and lows you do.

Give yourself time to work through your anger, resentment and hurt over the whole issue. Talk to your partner about it and let him know how let down you feel and how you will require time to heal.

If he hasn’t already ended the affair or is dithering over it, give him an ultimatum. Be firm and let him know that you are willing to give it another try but he has to cut off all ties with his lover.

People having an affair in Italy would be well advised in future not to use their car for illicit assignations.

An Italian judge yesterday ruled that wives or husbands who suspect marital infidelity are entitled under the law to bug their spouse’s car in the search for incriminating evidence.

The ruling arose in Brescia, northern Italy, where a private detective agency specialising in infidelity cases offered to plant hidden microphones and satellite tracking devices “in a couple of hours” in the cars of suspected spouses, at a cost of up to €1,500 (£1,000).

After some of the devices were found police charged 22 people – including private detectives and mechanics as well as the jealous spouses – with “invasion of privacy”. Yesterday, however, Lorenzo Benini, a judge in Brescia, ruled that to plant bugging devices in a car was “not a criminal offence”.

He said: “However disconcerting this may be, I find no penalty under the law for intercepting private conversations or communications in a vehicle. It is not illegal.”

The judge said that the law forbidding bugging applied only to homes, with a penalty of up to four years in prison.

Judge Benini acknowledged that the loophole was “a cause for alarm”, but he insisted that “the law is the law”. He said that he was obliged to acquit the 22 accused, but suggested that parliament might “take another look” at privacy laws in Italy and tighten them up.

In a country where corruption is rife, there are fears that the loophole could also be exploited by those engaged in other forms of espionage, industrial or political.

The wrath – and torment – of cheated husbands or wives is a constant theme of Italian cinema, from Divorce, Italian Style with Marcello Mastroianni to Amore mio, aiutami (Help Me, My Love) starring Monica Vitti.

In a separate case yesterday, the Court of Cassation, the highest court of appeal in Italy, ordered an “obsessively jealous” husband not only to leave the marital home but to move to another town altogether to stop him trying to control his wife’s every move.

The court said that the husband, named only as Roberto under privacy laws, had in effect imprisoned his wife, Maria, by forbidding her to leave their home at Lecce, in Puglia, southern Italy, and installing a video surveillance camera outside the house to make sure that she obeyed.

It said that he had also obliged her to have his mother to stay in the house whenever he spent a night away.

The appeal judges rejected his plea that his actions arose from his “loving attentions” toward his wife. Corriere della Sera said that the two judgments showed that despite Italy’s reputation for a relaxed attitude to matters of the heart, marital jealousy was “stronger than ever”.

A survey in Donna Moderna, a women’s magazine, said that 92 per cent of Italian women would not forgive their husband for betraying them. The survey was taken after the resignation this week of Cosimo Mele, a Catholic MP from the Christian Democrat party, after it emerged that he had spent a night at a luxury Rome hotel suite with two prostitutes, one of whom was taken to hospital with a cocaine overdose.

Only 8 per cent of women questioned said that they would be understanding if their husband or partner were caught in a similar situation. Mr Mele, who denies taking drugs, blames his behaviour on the loneliness of life as a politician.

The Rome prosecutor has opened an inquiry into the case, saying that the prostitutes’ accounts of events differed in key respects from that of Mr Mele.

Home bugs

In Britain law enforcement agencies are required to seek warrants to place bugs or taps but private citizens are not. This opens the door to all forms of espionage whether personal. professional or political. So Britain’s cheating spouses must also be careful where they conduct their secret trysts. But would-be spies must weigh the risks – victims do have recourse to the civil courts under European legislation