Money and Infidelity

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Our private investigative agency gets calls all the time where the spouse is concerned that their husband or wife is being unfaithful, largely because of instances of missing money and the spouse being away from home or work at unexplained times. If you have those concerns, but do not see any other signs of infidelity, review them here, then you may have a problem with drugs or gambling, not infidelity. It is important to evaluate your observations closely and to try and be as impartial as possible. When these are real problems, we can still help you to find out whats going. Surveillance will always tell you where they go but drug use is a very private matter, largely because of concerns about law enforcement, which makes documentation of narcotics purchases very, very, very difficult to obtain.

Truth vs. Video Proof

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We had a situation where a new client engaged us to document where her husband was going with the idea being that he was seeing another woman. We followed him late into the evening and after he departed from a bar, he drove to a area frequented by prostitutes. He stopped and picked up a woman who we are certain is a prostitute and drove to an abandoned strip mall where he pulled into the rear alley. Obviously we could not follow him into the alley without being detected so we went to the other end of the alley and we were able to see the vehicle some 75-80 yards away. We could see people moving around inside the car but we could not actually see what was going on inside the car or make out their faces, largely due to a complete lack of lighting in the area. After 9-10 minutes, the vehicle started back up and they exited the alley. We filmed him returning this woman to the area where he picked her up, they talked through the car window for 30 seconds and then he was on his way home. The client indicated that the surveillance was poorly executed inasmuch as she cannot tell what they were doing inside the car in the alley. As much as we would liked to have documented that for her, the reality is that we had no real opportunity to do so. We are private investigators, not magicians. For those of you who have expectations set this high, we recommend that you interview several private detective agencies before hiring one so that you can get a true sense of the reality of the work product and the limitations that life imposes on us. As for our client, if it’s OK for your spouse to be parked in an alley with a hooker at 3:10 a.m. unless you see a sex act in progress, I think your marriage is in trouble video proof or not.

Spouses and Affairs: What they wear

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One of the most telling signs that a spouse is having an affair that we, as private investigators, hear about is when a spouse suddenly purchases sexy new underwear. For some reason, when they do this, they almost never mention it to the spouse and it just sort of shows up one day. They wear it when they think they may meet their lover and basically blow it off when you ask why the change. Obviously this is part of their desire to be sexy and excite there partner in the infidelity and they seem to associate it with the affair and not with you., so it bothers them when you bring it up or ask to see it. Watch them closely when you ask about it and we hear over and over how the spouse just tries to get away from you and not have this discussion.

Spouses and affairs

Holiday parties and the office hook-up

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For those of you who are facing a possible infidelity at the workplace situtation, the company christmas party (the type where the spouse is not invited) is almost always a given time for the cheaters to get together. Lets face it, everyone drinks too much, people are in a good mood and they cheating spouse has a great opportunity to be away from you, to be drinking and to have an excuse about staying out late. Because most of the time the unfaithful spouse and co-worker do not want the affair to become public knowledge, they sneak out of the party seperately and go somewhere. In some cases, they don’t even make it to the party! We highly recommend having your private investigator watch them from mid-afternoon. If you truely have these doubts, this is an excelllent opportunity.

Thanksgiving Cheating, or should I say the Monday after Thanksgiving

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Thanksgiving is a time for the family to gather. People hop on planes, trains, buses and cars to spend time with the family. What that means for the unfaithful spouse is, lots of time away from their lover and Thanksgiving Cheating. What happens when everyone gets back to the real world? The cheating spouse cannot wait for Monday because they have not seen or heard from their lover in days and they need to get together with them as soon as possible. The Monday after Thanksgiving has always been very beneficial in gathering proof of infidelity for those clients of ours that took advantage of this opportunity.

Mileage and an affair

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These days, almost everyone has a car and they drive themselves whenever they need to go some place. That includes driving to and from the place where they are cheating on you. It does not take a private investigator to know that every car has an odometer that records mileage. Unless you think the affair is being carried on at the work place or in your home, your cheating spouse has to drive to the meeting place. Now comes the lies. “I’m going to get my golf cleats sharpened at the Mall” reports the cheating husband. You jump in the car, write down the mileage. He leaves and returns. The mileage is now 18 miles more than would be required to go to the mall. You have a problem. The same can be true for those cheating partners who “work late” or “go out with the gang for a beer”. If you simply drove from home to work and back, or from home to work and Chili’s 1/4 mile from the office and then home, why does the car have 11 miles more than that trip would require. This type of monitoring makes it easy for you to get a better idea of when this is happening. It also pays to check around in the car for other evidence. People get sloppy and leave clues all the time, frequently in the car.

New York Investigations

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New York investigations can be tricky. We still have clients who do not understand why we often require two private investigators in New York. This is the only way to effectively investigate in this type of city. Without going through the entire list of reasons why two investigators are required, there are a few things to think about.

New York Investigations

  1. Parking: All of the places people can park in New York can make investigating with one investigator almost impossible.
  2. Traffic: It’s no secret that navigating through busy New York streets is difficult on a good day. Add in traffic lights breaking up the traffic flow and try following someone through that! Having a second investigator makes this task more feasible.
  3. Other forms of transportation: Walking, taxis, subways, buses, etc. There are many ways that an individual can maneuver around the busy city. Having two investigators allows us to be prepared for all of the possibilities.

These are just a few of the reasons we require two investigators for New York investigations and while it does raise the price of the service, it is a way for us to effectively produce the results you’re looking for!

When you catch your cheating spouse

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If you are in a position to catch your cheating spouse in the act, but they do not know that they have been caught, use your head and DON’T tell let them know. We realize how difficult this is to do. You want to confront them, burn their car or hurt them, but if a divorce is in the making, it will be far better for you emotionally and financially if you keep quiet about catching him/her in the act and get a professional to help you document it the next time. The type of proof we gather, unlike your word, is impossible to twist, distort and make unclear. We get video, gathered by a professional who specializes in gathering evidence and has no interest in lying.

Reverse Telephone Search

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If you have located a telephone number of two and you don’t know who the owner is, we HIGHLY recommend that you have a private investigator reverse telephone search before you initiate surveillance. The good news is that if they turn out to belong to the “other” person, you have given us an excellent tool to assist in our surveillance and to help us research him/her ahead of time to make the most of the surveillance. The bad news is, you may spend a small amount of money only to find out your spouse called Walgreens or dry cleaners. In our opinion, the reward far outweighs the money at risk. For more info about reversing numbers, check out our telephone research page.

Strip Clubs Continued

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Although distasteful to many folks, a husband going to a strip club does not automatically mean he is cheating on you with one of the stripers. The vast majority of the time, the girls that work at those places are not hookers. They make very good money dancing and have none of the risks. They are often in the company of drug dealers and are looking for a rich guy, musician or athlete to latch onto and the average strip club patron does not fit the order.